1. Wave goodbye as Hubs goes off to the man store (HomeLows-type).
2. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Red, of course.
3. Decide to empty the dishwasher before Hubs comes home.
4. Grab some plates out of the dishwasher and start a’stackin’.
5. Find a saucer and place it on the *very* tall stack of saucers.
6. Watch in slow motion as the *very* tall stack of saucers begin to tumble onto the glass of red wine (remember that from step 2?), into the dishwasher, and onto the floor.
7. See the first plate hit the glass of wine.
8. See Merlot splash everywhere.
9. See at least three saucers crash into the open dishwasher (remember that from step 3),
10. Take a moment to wonder how in the hell you’re going to clean up this mess.
11. Pick up the bigger pieces of saucer and wine glass.
12. Use several rags to sop up wine.
13. Use the last two paper towels to collect the small pits of glass.
14. Remove everything on the counter and clean them.
15. Notice that the cleanser is not getting out the wine stain.
16. Use another cleanser.
17. See step 15.
18. Remember that gel dishwasher soap get stains out.
19. Spread a layer of dishwasher gel on the counter.
20. Give it a good schmear.
21. Wipe up the gel.
22. Notice the gleaming counter top.
23. Wipe down every surface the wine splashed (that sh*t gets everywhere).
24. Empty the dishes in the sink.
25. Place the wine soaked remaining saucers into the wine soaked dishwasher.
26. Start the dishwasher.
27. Use a damp cloth to grab any stray glass on the floor.
28. Realize the other cabinets could use a wipe-down.
29. Clean them.
30. Pour another glass of wine.
